Yeah, I remember that first iPhone moment. Feels like handing them the keys to the internet, doesn’t it?
So Apple’s got Screen Time built in - you can set it up through Family Sharing. It won’t show you actual message content, but you’ll see who they’re texting and how much. That’s the less intrusive route.
For reading actual messages, apps like Eyezy or Bark will do it, but fair warning - they require either iCloud backup access (which your kid can figure out pretty quick) or jailbreaking the phone (don’t recommend that headache).
My two cents? Start with Screen Time and actual conversations with your kid about online safety. The monitoring apps work better when they know they exist. Loses effectiveness if they find out you’ve been secretly reading everything - trust me on that one.
What age are we talking here? That might help narrow down what makes sense.