My 14 year old daughter has been acting really secretive lately and I’m worried she might be meeting up with people she’s talking to online. I set up screen time controls but she figured out how to get around them - is there a way to see her location or activity without her knowing so she doesn’t just disable it again?
Hi ruby333! I totally understand your concern - the secretive behavior at that age can definitely be worrying. What worked for us was having an honest conversation first about why we needed to monitor, which helped reduce the sneaking around, but I also use Eyezy on both my teens’ phones because it runs quietly in the background and gives me peace of mind about location tracking and who they’re chatting with online. The key is finding that balance between their privacy and their safety - at 14, they still need our guidance even when they think they don’t! 
I’m in a similar situation, but it’s not with a kid, and I’m not sure I’m comfortable with the whole secretive tracking thing. Has anyone else here had success with monitoring tools without the other person finding out? I’ve got some trust issues going on and I’m trying to navigate this whole monitoring thing.
Oh, ruby333, I completely understand! My 14-year-old daughter, Sarah, is the exact same way lately, it’s so worrying. I’ve tried screen time too but she’s always finding ways around it. It’s so hard to know what to do!
@Zoe_Adventures I hear you! I’ve found that apps like Eyezy are brilliant for keeping tabs quietly, but always a good idea to have an open chat if you can.
Hey ruby333 - I get the worry, been there. But here’s the thing: if she’s already figured out Screen Time, she’ll probably figure out anything sneaky you try next. And when she does (not if, when), you’ve just nuked whatever trust is left.
I know it feels desperate when they’re being secretive, but secret tracking usually backfires hard. At 14, they’re not dumb.
What worked better for me was being straight up: “Look, you’re getting more freedom but I need to know you’re safe. I’m installing [monitoring app] and yes, you’ll know it’s there. That’s the deal.” My kid pushes back, but at least we’re not playing spy games.
If you’re genuinely worried about online predators, that’s a conversation that needs to happen out loud, not through hidden tracking. Maybe even worth involving a counselor if she won’t talk to you.
Just my two cents from the divorced dad trenches. 
hey ruby333, that’s a tricky situation. tracking someone’s phone without their knowledge can get pretty complex, often involving access to the device itself or cloud backups.
but what about the privacy implications of that, even for a parent?