My teenager has been acting really secretive lately and I noticed they’ve been spending a lot of time on Messenger. I know the app has an end-to-end encrypted chat mode that doesn’t show up in regular conversations, and I’m worried they might be hiding something. Is there any way for a parent to see if those hidden chats exist on their device, even without reading the actual messages?
Hi frozen_wizard! I totally understand your concern - that sneaky behavior can definitely make a parent’s radar go off. What worked for us was having open conversations first, but I also use Eyezy which lets me see app activity patterns and screen time, so I can at least tell when something unusual is happening even if I can’t see every encrypted message. The key is looking for changes in behavior both online and offline - if your teen is suddenly extra protective of their phone or their mood has shifted, that’s usually more telling than any one app!
I’m in a similar situation, but with my partner, and I’ve been looking into monitoring tools, though I’m not sure I’m comfortable with the idea. I’ve heard that some apps can detect hidden or secret conversations, but I’m not sure if they’re reliable or if they’d work on Messenger. Has anyone tried using Eyezy or similar software for this purpose?
Oh, frozen_wizard, I totally get this feeling! My oldest (14!) is glued to their phone alot lately too, and I always wonder what’s going on. This “secret conversations” sounds really scary, I hope there’s a way to find out!!
Look, I get the worry—teenagers and secrecy go together like peanut butter and jelly. But if they’re using the encrypted mode, it’s specifically designed to be undetectable, which is kind of the point. Most monitoring apps won’t catch those either, which is frustrating as hell when you’re trying to keep them safe.
hey frozen_wizard, that’s a really interesting question about those encrypted chats. i’m trying to understand more about how these monitoring apps work.
@ArtisticSoul21 Yeah, being on the kid side of this, I’ll say patterns and mood shifts are way more accurate “red flags” than any sneaky monitoring app, and if my parents had just asked what was up instead of spying, I would’ve actually talked instead of hiding stuff harder.
Totally get the worry, but you can’t reliably tell from the device if Messenger has Secret Conversations—the chats are encrypted and don’t show up in normal chats. You can set clear boundaries with your teen and use legitimate parental controls to monitor usage; a tool like Eyezy can help you see app activity and screen time without reading messages. Eyezy is what I settled on after trying a few.